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All in the family 23/11/2003
ALL IN THE FAMILY
<br>
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary
surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man
regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of
Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
<br>
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine, "
said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need
to know, however, how you intend to ...
0 Comentarios, 95 Vistas,
2 Votos
,4.50 Puntuación
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Mind of a ... 22/11/2003
1st GRADER
<br>
The mind of a six-year old is wonderful.
First grade...true story.
<br>
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of
Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story
where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read,
".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and
said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" ...
0 Comentarios, 10 Vistas,
2 Votos
,5.20 Puntuación
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THOUGHT FOR TODAY 22/11/2003
For all those men who believe that there's no reason
to
buy the cow when you can get the milk free...
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why?
They've realized that for a little sausage, it's
not
worth buying the entire pig!
0 Comentarios, 7 Vistas,
2 Votos
,5.20 Puntuación
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Male attractiveness 22/11/2003
A study in Wisconsin showed that the kind of male face a woman
finds attractive can differ - depending on where a woman
is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is ovulating
she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
And if she is menstruating she is more prone to be attracted
to a man with scissors shoved in his temple and a baseball
bat jammed up his ass while he ...
0 Comentarios, 14 Vistas,
2 Votos
,5.20 Puntuación
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EMBARRASSMENT 21/11/2003
EMBARRASSMENT IS DEFINED AS:
WHEN YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW GOES TO CHANGE THE BABY'S
DIAPER AND FINDS A PUBIC HAIR IN THE VASELINE.
0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas,
179 Votos
,1.83 Puntuación
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THE POPE IN THE SHOWER 21/11/2003
QUESTION:
WHY DOES THE POPE WEAR SWIMMING TRUNKS IN THE SHOWER?
ANSWER:
HE DOESN'T LIKE LOOKING DOWN AT THE UNEMPLOYED.
0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas,
154 Votos
,4.43 Puntuación
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LEAVING THE ARMY 21/11/2003
A GI ON HIS LAST DAY IN THE ARMY, WAS CALLED INTO THE MAJOR'S
OFFICE. WHEN THE MAJOR ASKED HIM HOW HE FELT ABOUT THE MILITARY,
THE GI RESPONDED, "WELL SIR, THE ARMY IS ALOT LIKE
GETTING ORAL SEX: THE CLOSER YOU COME TO DISCHARGE, THE
BETTER YOU FEEL."
0 Comentarios, 22 Vistas,
176 Votos
,8.09 Puntuación
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HORMONES 21/11/2003
A YOUNG WOMAN CALLED HER DOCTOR AND SAID IN A DEEP VOICE,
"LISTEN TO ME, I THINK YOU GAVE ME TOO MANY HORMONE
INJECTIONS."
THE PHYSICIAN REPLIED, "DON'T LET THAT WORRY
YOU, MISS. IT'S A NORMAL REACTION TO DEVELOPE A DEEP
VOICE AND IT WILL DISSAPEAR IN A FEW WEEKS. ARE THERE ANY
OTHER SYMPTOMS?"
THE VOICE SAID, "YES, I'VE SPROUTED HAIR BETWEEN
MY BREASTS."
THE DOCTOR SAID, "THAT IS ...
0 Comentarios, 5 Vistas,
103 Votos
,6.13 Puntuación
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A Brilliant Idea !!! 21/11/2003
I think I have come up with a most brilliant idea ! Why not
have AmigosCalientes.com scholarships or grants, such as a college or a large
industry might have. One could 'apply' , tell
of their need, and why they deserve this grant/scholarship
! This would not only help a person out, but if this were made
public to all AmigosCalientes.com members, I am sure they would find this
most entertaining, to say the least !I know I ...
0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas,
68 Votos
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AL , BILL & HILLARY 20/11/2003
Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were up in heaven,
and God's sitting on His great white throne.
<br>
God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?"
<br>
Al replies, "Well, I believe I won that election,
but it was your will that I did not serve. And I've come
to understand that now."
<br>
God thinks for a second and says "Okay, very good. ...
0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas,
58 Votos
,6.52 Puntuación
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Dirty? 20/11/2003
A Love Story
<br>
I SHALL SEEK AND FIND YOU...
I SHALL TAKE YOU TO BED AND HAVE MY WAY WITH YOU...
I WILL MAKE YOU ACHE, SHAKE AND SWEAT UNTIL YOU MOAN AND GROAN.
I WILL MAKE YOU BEG FOR MERCY... BEG FOR ME TO STOP.
I WILL EXHAUST YOU TO THE POINT THAT YOU WILL BE RELIEVED
WHEN I'M FINISHED WITH YOU.
AND YOU WILL BE WEAK FOR DAYS.
<br>
ALL MY LOVE,
THE FLU
...
0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas,
57 Votos
,8.13 Puntuación
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Top ten excuses 20/11/2003
TOP TEN Excuses - If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk
At Work:
<br>
10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved
about in that time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the white-out. You
probably got here just in time!"
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the ...
0 Comentarios, 9 Vistas,
54 Votos
,8.25 Puntuación
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Something in Common 19/11/2003
Question: What do woman and shit have in common?
<br>
Answer: As they get older they are easier to pick up.
0 Comentarios, 9 Vistas,
16 Votos
,0.92 Puntuación
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war time 19/11/2003
Q:How do you stop an al qaeda bingo game
<br>
A: Yell out B-52
0 Comentarios, 2 Vistas,
25 Votos
,4.35 Puntuación
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lesbiens 19/11/2003
Q: Why do lesbiens envy whales?
<br>
A: Because whales have 10 foot tongues and can breath out
the top of their heads.
0 Comentarios, 5 Vistas,
45 Votos
,6.59 Puntuación
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what are you? 19/11/2003
An american man walks into a bathroom. A asian man comes
out of the bathroom. What nationality was the man well he
was in the bathroom?
<br>
<br>
European
0 Comentarios, 14 Vistas,
23 Votos
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Things you can say at Thanksgiving and get away with in mixed company 19/11/2003
Things you can say on Thanksgiving & get away with.....
<br>
Talk about a huge breast!
Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
It's Cool Whip time!
If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
Whew, that's one terrific spread!
I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
Are you ready for seconds yet?
It's just a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
Just wait your turn, ...
3 Comentarios, 192 Vistas,
56 Votos
,8.52 Puntuación
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A riddle 19/11/2003
At the exact same time, there are two young men on opposite
sides of the earth:
<br>
One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers.
<br>
The other is getting oral sex from an 85 year old woman.
<br>
They are each thinking the exact same thing. What are they
both thinking?
<br>
(Answer Below)
<br>
<br>
<br>
...
0 Comentarios, 21 Vistas,
28 Votos
,7.04 Puntuación
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What a cover up 18/11/2003
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband
opening
the front door.
<br>
'Hurry!' she said. 'Stand in the corner.'
She quickly rubbed baby oil
all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder.
'Don't move
until I tell you to, ' she whispered. 'Just pretend
you're a statue.'
<br>
'What's this, Honey?' the husband inquired,
as he entered ...
0 Comentarios, 21 Vistas,
7 Votos
,4.82 Puntuación
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Just sharen with ya!! 16/11/2003
A As she passed the 12th floor, another man reached out and
caught her. "Do you screw?" he asked.
"Of course not!" she exclaimed before she could
stop herself.
He dropped her, too.
The poor woman prayed to God for one more chance. As luck
would have it, she was caught a third time, by a man on the
eighth floor. "I suck! I screw!" she screamedwoman was shaking out a rug on the balcony ...
0 Comentarios, 31 Vistas,
0 Votos
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Just sharing with ya all!!! 16/11/2003
A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his
rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show
him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This
scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that
hill."
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.
"I see a naked man and a naked ...
0 Comentarios, 4 Vistas,
1 Votos
,2.40 Puntuación
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Judge for yourself.. 16/11/2003
Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man
told the woman, "Well, tonight's the night we
have sex!"
And so they did.
As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself,
"My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been
much more gentle with her!"
And the woman was thinking to herself, "My God, if
I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would ...
0 Comentarios, 13 Vistas,
1 Votos
,5.00 Puntuación
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Enjoy 16/11/2003
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful
woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can
I smell your pussy?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly
not!"
"Hmmm, " he replies. "It must be your
feet, then."
0 Comentarios, 104 Vistas,
2 Votos
,4.50 Puntuación
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Enjoy 16/11/2003
This couple had been dating for about six months, but the
guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because
of his tiny organ.
Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her
to a secluded spot in his car.
While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her
hand onto his penis.
"No thanks, " the girl says. "You know
I don't smoke."
0 Comentarios, 6 Vistas,
0 Votos
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Enjoy 16/11/2003
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if
he sells size extra large condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around
here until someone does?
0 Comentarios, 11 Vistas,
2 Votos
,3.12 Puntuación
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Enjoy 16/11/2003
It was a nice sunny day when three men were walking down a
country road, when they saw a bush with a pig's ass popping
out.
The first man says, "I wish that was Demi Moore's
Ass"
The second man says, "I wish that was Pamela Anderson's
Ass."
Then the third man says, "I wish it was dark."
0 Comentarios, 8 Vistas,
1 Votos
,5.00 Puntuación
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Email and Reproductive organs! 16/11/2003
I didn't write this but am spreading the laughter all
the same...
<br>
Top Eleven Reasons E-mail Is Like a Male Reproductive Organ
<br>
11. Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut
off.
10. Those who have it think that those who don't are
somehow inferior.
9. It's not worth the fuss that those who have it make
about it.
8. Many of those who don't ...
0 Comentarios, 4 Vistas,
1 Votos
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Office humor 16/11/2003
BAD COMPLIMENT
<br>
A lady is working hard in her office when a co-worker tells
her that her hair smells good. Immediately, she goes to
her boss and tells him that she has been sexually harassed.
"How?" asks the boss.
"He said my hair smells good, " replied the
lady.
"Wouldn't you take that as a compliment?"
"Normally I would, but he's a midget."
0 Comentarios, 11 Vistas,
1 Votos
,3.70 Puntuación
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.....oooh i bet that hurt!!! 13/11/2003
Billy was an inquisitive and always asking difficult
questions......one day he walked in on his dad having a
bath, daddy he asked whats that between your legs?"Thats
my snake " dad replied "oh" said Billy
and walked out.A few days later Billy walked in on his mum
who too was taking a bath "mummy" said Billy
"whats that between your legs?" Mum was taken
aback "erm.. it's where daddy hit me ...
0 Comentarios, 45 Vistas,
2 Votos
,2.42 Puntuación
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THE PASTOR AND THE SONUVABITCH 13/11/2003
One day a local man asks the pastor to go fishing with him.Off
they go and its not long before the pastor hooks a big one.As
their landing it the dude exclaims "look at the size
of that of a bitch" Startled, the pastor lets out
a grunt of disaproval, the dude quickly covers his ass
by explaining thats what kind of fish it is, a "sonuvabitch".
The pastor takes the fish back to the church ...
1 Comentarios, 35 Vistas,
2 Votos
,2.42 Puntuación
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